It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
