Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
