So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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