Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
