I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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