Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
