so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
