The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
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Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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