Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
