My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize