I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
