1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
