i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize