So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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