she woke up with a sticky ear
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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