does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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