You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
