one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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