so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
