I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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