My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
