you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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