honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Randomize
