What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
