That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
