What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
