I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
