you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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