...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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