is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
