look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
