Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
