At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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