Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
