You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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