DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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