And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize