well you can't waste a boner
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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