Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
