Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize