I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
