You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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