i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Randomize
