I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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