so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize