You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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