i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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