You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
