Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
