Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
