Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
be right there i have to get my cape
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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