sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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