Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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