new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
