I don't think brook has ever known best
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
