I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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