i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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