It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
